Hello, everyone. Today I'll be talking about something very important. We all need to use this skill at one point or another, so pay close attention. We'll be talking about how to avoid suspicion.

I Thought of This After Watching Law and Order

For various reasons, we've all had times when we wanted to avoid people suspecting us of something, whether we didn't do it or we "didn't do it". That's why it's important to know how to conduct yourself when under scrutiny. There are a lot of very subtle things we can do and say which will lead even the most distrusting to believe our innocence unconditionally. We'll start with what to say when under questioning.

Suppose you're being held in police custody for certain reasons and detectives are asking you a lot of questions. If they ask "Did you do it?", you should say no. However, if you instead say something like "So what if I did? You've got nothing on me! I'll be out of here by lunch time and you can't do anything to stop it! Ahahahaha!", that's fine too. A lot of detectives still won't be convinced you did anything.

Another way to go is to very calmly and politely answer all questions in a relaxed tone, as if you aren't even aware you're suspected of murder. "Someone was killed? They were run over, shot in the head, and stabbed 37 times in the chest with a poison covered knife? Oh. Well, I had no idea. I was busy gardening. Nice weather today." You should also take a sip of your water and smile somewhat creepily at them.

When confronted by the police, you should run away as fast as you can. Why? Because they say an innocent person doesn't run, so naturally criminals would keep that in mind and stay put. Also, why would an innocent person stay and talk to the police? They haven't done anything. They have no information on the crime. So shouldn't they get away before they risk slowing the police down down with unnecessary interogations? It only makes sense to run.

A few other important things to worry about are your appearance and your job. When they ask what you do for a living, do you think they want to hear something like "I smuggle illegal drugs through the border for money which I then use to fund my ring of underground dog fighting"? No. Pick a more inconspicuous job. Like a veterinarian. And make sure you're dressed appropriately for your job. Nothing is more suspicious than when someone wears sneakers for an office job.

Now, how should you act? All jobs come with their own feeling, and so it makes sense for people with certain jobs to behave a certain way. Would you expect a janitor to be all smiles and dancing when they have to deal with vomit?

With that all said, let's go through a perfect example of being totally unsuspecting.

For this example, let's say you go with the veterinarian job we mentioned.

A pair of homicide detectives comes to your office asking if you know anything about a murder that happened behind your building.

What should you be wearing? Well, a veterinarian deals with animals, and a lot of animals have sharp teeth and claws, so it's perfectly normal for your clothes to reflect that. Wear some torn up pants and maybe a bloody shirt, to show that an animal may have gotten little out of hand. Be very shaky and have your hair all crazy too.

How should you act? Well, unfortunately not animals can be helped. Some will be too far gone to do anything about, so the only humane thing to do would be to put them down. Show that. Not by killing an animal right then and there, no, that'd be suspicious. I can see why you'd go there though. Having to put animals down would have a negative effect on someone's mood. So be very depressed and anxious. People who go through traumatic experiences also have bad posture and an uneasy tone.

So, finally, what should you say? Well, hunched over, with your hair a mess, your clothes in bloody tatters, and your voice steadily cracking here and there, say something normal, like "I... I had a d-dog in here earlier... He was so happy and cheerful... But I had to do it... It's such a shame, for such a young animal to go like that, but... But I had to do it! I had to, there was no hope left!"

You see? That's perfect. People like it when you talk about your job. It puts them at ease, and makes them suspect you less.

That's about all I have to say for now. I hope you enjoyed this and learned something. Thanks for reading and have a nice day.