In my life I've done and said many, many things. Some bad things. Some worse things. A few things that may have seemed good to others at the time, but which had no good intentions behind them. I've probably done some things which had good results for others, but if you do a thousand things, something is bound to have some good results for someone. I don't know if I've ever done anything good for someone that was meant to be good and had good results though. I tend to doubt it.

That said, I don't believe I'm necessarily a bad person. Just that most others are generally worse. Essentially, if another person would steal from someone, I'd do it too, but be nicer about it. Maybe clean things up for them a little, and leave them a pleasant note. Or maybe just not steal as much. That's the sort of thing I'd do. I don't bare any malice or ill will in any of my actions.

I remember this one girl I used to know. She was very nice and friendly and she loved to hug everyone. Most people got to like her pretty quickly. I guess it could be said that because of how close she'd get to people, they'd get close to her. In all honesty, I do think I loved her more than any other friend I've ever had. I still do.

I'm not the type of person to be openly friendly and kind, and so not a lot of people show me a lot of affection. I guess that's why it meant so much to me that she'd so readily hang on to me as if we were childhood friends.

I liked picking on her. She was just one of those adorable and lovable fluffy people who are incredibly fun to tease. Kind of like holding food just out of the reach of a hamster or tying a baby to a pole so it can't reach you while you hold your arms out and go, "Baby, what's wrong? Don't you want to hug me? I'm right here... Why won't you come closer? I have candy..." You know, the way you treat babies.

I used to do things like take something out of her bag while she wasn't looking and then pretend to find it and act as though I have no idea who's it is, especially if it had her name and picture on it. I'd intentionally misunderstand her any time she used even remotely vague language. I'd hide and jump out at her to scare her. Once or twice I wrote a book satirizing her name, behavior, appearance, and family. Then made it a play and tried to get the school to put it on as a live performance. All the normal stuff kids do to mess with each other.

One day, she invited a few friends over to her house, myself included, and she left the room to prepare some snacks for everyone. While she was gone, another friend of mine got the idea that it might be funny if when she came back all of us were gone and along with each of us a piece of furniture. I spoke up and said, "What the hell? We've been friends for months, and you think it'd be funny to make it seem as if we were all just pretending to be her friends so that when we finally got the chance to go to her home we could steal all her stuff and disappear? You realize who this is? She's an unbelievably good person. Countless times she's taken time out of her day to help each and every one of you with the school work you're too damned stupid to understand. I once lost my text book, and she actually came over to my house on her own on the bus just so I could use her's. That was a two hour bus ride both to and from my house with a lot of walking. On a rainy day too. And she brought cookies she'd baked my name into. What the hell is wrong with you?"

That was all true, and I sincerely felt disgusted by what that kid had proposed. Unfortunately, while I was saying all that, I got it into my mind that, yes, that'd be a hilarious thing to do. The idea that a group of people would spend all that time ominously plotting just to do something so petty was absolutely ridiculous, and that's what I thought was so funny about it. And I thought it'd be even funnier if one of us stayed behind to come in after she saw what had happened and pretend to not know what was going on.

So she was confused and alone in her empty living room holding a tray of brownies meant for her close friends to share. On each one were smiles made of icing.

I have to say that in that moment, while I was watching from inside the closet, and she dropped the brownies and started to cry, I felt a much deeper and profound sense of regret and sadness than I'd ever felt before. Then I did what is likely to be the most good I've ever done in my entire life.

I came out of the closet(Blog Title), walked over to her, gave her a strong hug and I apologized. I explained what we'd done, that it was just an immensely stupid and immature joke, and that she had nothing to worry about. Everyone came back and put everything back the way it was.

It's terrible, but not fully going through with an awful and hurtful joke is probably the most good I've ever done. They were worse though.

And I think the note I left her regarding the necklace I stole was very politely written. I keep it to remember her by.