Hello, everyone. How's it been? Good, I hope.

I'm pretty excited. I'll be getting a Wii U soon with MK8 and either Pikmin 3 or the Windwaker remake. Can you register people on a Wii U like you can with the 3DS? If you can then don't ask me to add you. On a 3DS is one thing, but I'll be sharing the Wii U, and I don't want people to know that online I associate with weirdos like Monstercat and Wiffle King.

Anyway, this blerg is about Danyelle. Maybe I'll do this for other members too. For now this is all there is. Enjoy.

Danyelle, "The D", Muffintop

Danyelle. Last name Muffintop, as I'm sure many of you would expect. Most of us don't know very much about her, so I've taken it upon myself to talk to her and find out as much as she was comfortable revealing. Let's see what she had to say.

Wait, actually, is there enough room for it all? It took up like five pages in my notebook when I wrote this out, and I tend to use up a lot of space completely unnecessarily with wordy nonsense that adds nothing whatsoever to the story. I hope I can avoid that this time.

I had this whole conversation planned out, but I don't think it'll fit in one blerg, so I'll just stick to the solid story and leave out any semblance of trying to convince you people this actually happened. Just pretend Dany heard a question and immediately went into her whole life story.

Here goes.

Me: "Dany, what was your life like?"

Dany: "Well, I won't go into my whole life story, but I grew up on a farm raising chickens. My parents were very firm in their stance that I should raise the chickens personally and in close quarters. So much so that they insisted I live with the chickens in their coup.

I say I raised them, but really it was more of a cohabitation thing born out of my parents' neglect for both chickens and their child.

The nights were cold, but I could keep warm by nuzzling up to the chickens. They were quite warm and soft.

Sometimes I'd pretend I was hugging my mother, and the nails sticking out of the walls were my father, punishing me for moving without thinking when I'd wake up and cut my face on the nails above my little corner in the coup.

Every morning I'd wake up to my roommates' frantic squaking. It makes sense they'd freak out having a strange human sleeping by them, but after a while they got used to me, and would only freak out because of the chicks I'd rolled over in my sleep.

After getting up I'd go to the main house and knock on the door while shouting, "Mom! Dad! It's morning! Can we eat breakfast together like a family?"

They'd never answer.

To get food I'd take some chickens into town. I know people sell chickens for money, but I didn't want to lose what little family I had. Instead I'd dress up the chickens as pigeons and have them wander around park benches so people would feed them. Once I saw food on the ground I'd run in and grab the food with my plastic beak that I'd made to fool people into thinking I was a bird too. Then I'd run off behind a tree or a bush.

I could have eaten the food with my hands, but I liked to peck at it, just in case someone was still watching and suspected I wasn't really a pigeon-disguised chicken.

That's how I lived from ages 4 to 14. It wasn't until later that I found out the people living in the main house weren't my real parents. They were just some farmers scared about what was sleeping in their chicken coup, crushing their chickens, and banging on their door at 4AM.

I guess I just wandered onto the farm when I was little and assumed a little too much about where I was, who those people were, and what I should be doing.

I made some mistakes, but things are better now. The library lets me use their computers."

Me: "Thank you, Dany. That was very interesting. Thanks for your time."

Thank you for reading, everyone. I hope you all learned a few things and know a little more about Dany. Maybe I can talk about some of you in the future.