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Obsessive-Compulsive

RP Avatar By @lokiikol
POSTED: 17 Sep 2013 00:07
CATEGORY: Miscellaneous
FEATURED: Yes (@Divine Crusader)
(Go to comments)

Obsessive-Compulsive
by lokiikol



A nagging thought
A recurring dream
An unavoidable mission
Bursting at the seams

If I avoid it
What shall become
Of my precious possessions
And everyone

It's the thought that counts
A heartless phrase
When applied to a thought
That does more than graze

It claws at your mind
And leaves you to fault
And will torture you further
If you ever revolt

Twisted images
Appear in your head
These horrible monsters
Like the living dead

No matter how much
You desire to quit
You must complete the cycle
Your destiny's been writ'

The demon desires
Its commands you must take
A hell full of compulsions
In each day you wake

And shaking as you will be
When the deed has been done
It'll come back for vengeance
As does every single one

They have not a single clue
Of how it really feels
When they say that they do
Secretly I reel

How dare they claim falsities
That harm the true observer
When they say small calamities
Are caused by my torturer

I'm an insomniac
The demons stalk me silently
Fear is something I don't lack
Every living day it's after me

***



This poem was written about what having Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is really like. I have self-diagnosed OCD (mild to moderate) and I strongly dislike when people say that they have OCD because they like organizing things. No people. That's OCPD (or maybe not, depending how far-fetched your organizing escapade was). OCD is way more complex then just the sudden urge to organize something. I hate to say that most of the previously mentioned people are my friends, so, unless I want to be a loner, I'm not lecturing half of my friends on the real OCD. My OCD is not as serious as the one that this poem indicates, but this is what many serious OCD sufferers may feel like. (I feel you bro.) Hopefully this poem enlightened you so that next time you go in front of a person with OCD, you don't blurt idiotic things regarding Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Go ahead and say OCPD. That's chill and people will think you're educated as well. Click here to learn what's running through the heads of most OCD sufferers and to figure out whether you have real-deal OCD or not. (This link redirects your browser to a new page.) Welp, that's it for me. Until next time, mis amigos...

-Loki

+5 -0
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Comments

Avatar Zero Lives
21 Sep 2013 01:58
Heh. I'm not gonna get into details, but I seem to have the need to keep my hands moving all the time, whether drawing, typing, or rapping the table. Could I have OCD?
Avatar lokiikol
21 Sep 2013 22:08
In reply to Zero Lives
That's most likely ADHD or ADD. Or maybe you're just a fidgety person. Look up ADD and ADHD to see if your symptoms comply with the one's listed. You most likely do not have OCD if those are the behaviors you display.
Avatar lokiikol
19 Sep 2013 22:23
This goes as a message to all of you. Unless you have OCD, even if you know all the facts, you'll NEVER understand how it feels to have it. I can joke about it now and then, but when I experiance it my world goes crazy. Having it is different than knowing all about it.
Avatar Epifex
18 Sep 2013 07:11
lik if u cri evrytim
Avatar lokiikol
20 Jan 2014 23:59
In reply to Epifex
I just came back to this site, re-read this arguement and I'm sorry. I was a real brat 4 months ago. I did overreact. Lol...that whole arguement was stupid. You probably don't even remember this. Ugh, why was I such a nitwit?
Avatar Epifex
22 Jan 2014 14:04
In reply to lokiikol
No worries.
Avatar lokiikol
18 Sep 2013 11:42
In reply to Epifex
Also, I respect you as a person, but this was honestly the rudest thing I've heard you say by-far.
Avatar lokiikol
18 Sep 2013 11:32
In reply to Epifex
Um...is this supposed to be funny? OCD is a serious psychological disorder that can dibilitate people from leading normal lives. Saying offensive, thoughtless jokes isn't helping anyone. I seriously doubt that you speak 'noob', so please be more respectful.
Avatar Epifex
18 Sep 2013 12:57
In reply to lokiikol
You need to take a chill-pill.
Avatar lokiikol
18 Sep 2013 20:38
In reply to Epifex
You need to stop being offensive and jesting about serious medical conditions. We're on level ground here muchacho.
Avatar Epifex
18 Sep 2013 23:28
In reply to lokiikol
This is the internet. If you expect everybody to be serious, you're gonna have a bad time.
Avatar lokiikol
19 Sep 2013 01:52
In reply to Epifex
Lol, someone thumbed down and I'm going to thumb down too...guess not many peeps agree with you.
Avatar Epifex
19 Sep 2013 07:08
In reply to lokiikol
Oh no, two people disagree with me. The horror. Oh, wait, this is the internet, so I don't care.

If you keep taking offence so easily you're going to find real life very challenging.
Avatar lokiikol
19 Sep 2013 11:59
In reply to Epifex
So...*cough cough*...when are you going to ban me on unreasonable grounds?
Avatar lokiikol
19 Sep 2013 11:56
In reply to Epifex
To think I actually used to look up to you on here...
Avatar lokiikol
19 Sep 2013 11:55
In reply to Epifex
Pfft...you don't even know. A woman was racist to me when I was in Kindergarten. (I didn't fuly realize she called me a s-h-... before I found out what that meant. I was a harmless kid riding my bike. I hate that woman to this day.) But the reason I take offense in your comment is because that you are the type of person mentioned in the blog. You are an ignorant buffoon who thinks that you know what it feels like and you think it's in your boundaries to joke about it. It doesn't make you Cheeto, it makes you look mean. I like OCD jokes...if they're funny and harmless. This wasn't funny and it made you look really stupid. This is for your own good, honestly.
Avatar Epifex
19 Sep 2013 18:05
In reply to lokiikol
Please don't post three replies to one comment, as it spams the comment stacks and my notifications.

Why do you assume I'm going to ban you because you overreacted? You act offended over a joke, yet you are trying to bait me to fit into stereotypes.

Imagine if you were out with your friends and wearing a hoodie, and somebody came up and said "So... when are you going to stab me?"
Stereotyping is not nice at all.

Which leads on to my next point somewhat. Please don't think to assume that I have no knowledge or understanding of mental disorders, you have absolutely no place to make such unfair and judgemental presumptions. Calling me an ignorant buffoon when you have no idea how knowledgeable I really am on this matter is extremely rude. As is telling me I look stupid. I haven't dropped to the level of personal insults in this conversation, but if you are going to be like that, don't complain that you were insulted by a mild joke.

I am trying to advise you here. If you genuinely find this kind of thing offensive then you seriously need to learn how to handle your emotions, because people are going to say much harsher things in life, and you're going to have to grin and bear it if you want to move forward. People aren't always going to tiptoe around you just so you feel comfortable.

Furthermore, jokes are just that. They're jokes. They can be harsh, but at the end of the day, it is obvious to anybody who can read that I am not actually suggesting that it isn't a serious matter. Learn to take self-deprecating humour, because as I said above, you will encounter a lot of it and it will be worse than this.

I am seriously trying to advise you here, and you respond by calling me a stupid-looking, ignorant buffoon for whom you have no respect.

Sorry, who was being rude?
Avatar lokiikol
19 Sep 2013 21:43
In reply to Epifex
The whole 'ignorant buffoon' thing was a joke (I call everyone that at some point) and so was the 'ban me' thing. (It was more of a 'come at me bro' statement, if you know what I mean.) So, again. We're even. But anyway, the point is, that comment was utterly worthless. It was offensive and worthless. Making a midly enjoyable comment that had greater relevancy would be not taken in offense, while you're comment looks like a mishapen, worthless joke...of a joke. I never plainly said 'you know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about the subject'. I just said that your acting like someone who does. You obviously must think I've been living under a rock, because you say 'it's going to get worse'. Oh really now? It's not like I've been on this planet for 13 years, and you're acting like you've been on it for 60. Honestly, if this was funny I would've been like 'Lulz. Ok, ok...stahp.' But this was..for the lack of a better word, stupid, in a way. An attempt that wasn't worth attempting. A more ignorant joke than a funny one. (Not to mention you were talking noob...what was the point of that?) Honestly, there was no point in either of us engaging in this arguement. Just don't post useless junk everywhere where it's a sensative article. Your comment made it look as if you didn't read the article and posted some completely unrelated bull crap (yet another imitation ot a noob). What was the thought process that went into posting such a ridiculous statement? I was a bit harsh before. I admit...I still look up to you because nobody can doubt the awesome essence of your art. Oh, and if you were wondering, 'Cheeto' is slang for 'cool' in Spanish...apparently.
Avatar Epifex
19 Sep 2013 22:06
In reply to lokiikol
Like I said, you seriously need to calm down. Like it or not, you blew this way out of proportion, and no number of insults is going to change the fact that you severely need to learn to control your temper. I wish you the best of luck with this.
Avatar lokiikol
19 Sep 2013 22:17
In reply to Epifex
Ok, here's the thing. You're an intelligent person, but look at it this way. Would you post that comment on a blog about 9/11? Would you? Why not (let's just hope you said 'no'? You woudn't because it's a very emotionally impactful event that effected America, and if you do a lot of angry civilians are going to come after you. It's also so'ething many people don't like discussing. Same with OCD. Yes, I'm comparing OCD to 9/11 (not really the event but the psychologic chaos that ensued). This was a blog about pain, suffering and mental torture. It was a serious blog that it took me a REALLY long time to decide wether I should post it or not. Why? OCD is something that greatly impacts people. It changes their lives and without actually knowing how it feels and grasping the concept that this is a SENSATIVE publication, you have no right to post such a joke. OCD can lead on to far more serious psychological disorders. When you post things like this, people get mad. Why? Becuase you're not going through the same thing and you can easily joke about it while they can't. Same with 9/11. We can never know how those families feel until we've gone through the same experiance. If you had OCD...you wouldn't have said that. It's as simple as that. I'm being serious right now and if you try to brush it off, I can only regard as someone completely ignorant, who doesn't care and is incapable of sympathizing.
Avatar Epifex
19 Sep 2013 22:21
In reply to lokiikol
I make fun of conditions I have all the time. And yes, I'm tired of 9/11 posts. It sucked, but remembering it isn't going to bring anybody back, and really you're just doing what the terrorists wanted. They wanted to make a deep impact and mentally scar Americans for years to come, and they sure succeeded.

And why do I not have a right to post something? Just because something on the internet could feasibly offend somebody doesn't mean I shouldn't post it. If they're offended, they should just ignore it. Their offence shouldn't stop me sharing it with those who aren't offended by it.

That's what I've been telling you to do. Get over it, because it isn't serious, and you're overreacting.
Avatar lokiikol
19 Sep 2013 22:29
In reply to Epifex
We all know that that's how the terrorists wanted us to feel and it worked. But it brought us together in a way too. We got past it, we moved on, even if we have memorials we don't sob over it like we used to. But pretending that you get the feeling of having OCD does offend me. You may have the facts, but you don't get the pain. Also posting it directly on my post is a different story than posting it somewhere else. You put your comment where I would obviously see it, UNDER A POST ABOUT THE AGONY OF HAVING OCD. Yep, I can ignore that...“totally”.
Avatar Epifex
19 Sep 2013 22:40
In reply to lokiikol
Which is why I said you need to get better at controlling yourself. If you can't ignore a simple comment on the internet, heaven forbid how you'll handle actual offensive stuff.
Avatar lokiikol
19 Sep 2013 23:57
In reply to Epifex
Again. You refer to me as if I haven't been introduced to drastically offensive things yet. Where the heck do you think I live? I wasn't born yesterday. I probably had more buffoonigans be unkind to me than you've ever had.
Avatar lokiikol
19 Sep 2013 23:55
In reply to Epifex
There's no corralation between this comment and the one it's replying to. What do you mean by 'Which is why I said...'? There's no connection as far as I'm concerned.
Avatar Epifex
19 Sep 2013 23:57
In reply to lokiikol
The correlation was you saying that you can't ignore it. I am saying you need to learn to ignore it. Simple.
Avatar lokiikol
19 Sep 2013 21:45
In reply to lokiikol
I failed at using 'you're' and 'your' correctly. I must now send myself to the chambers. How dare I?
Avatar cheltzzzyrose
21 Oct 2013 01:53
In reply to lokiikol
Wow.. It took me like.. FOREVER to read your arguement! XD... Sorry, im a stalker xD
Avatar NillocSkywalker
17 Sep 2013 23:28
I'd say I may have a lighr case of it. I am VERY obsessive about hobbies and other things, which is why I don't really use social networking. I am always trying to fix things or get it in order. If something looks uneven on a table, I immediately try to fix it. It drives my mom crazy when I'm always messing with small things, saying it bugs me to death. But one thing that is opposite in me is imagination. I have none. I think very logically, and can't start something from scratch. I always improve or base off something. Any one wanna confirm my theory of having OCD?
Avatar lokiikol
18 Sep 2013 01:51
In reply to NillocSkywalker
It's not always just fixing things. You may have a more moderate case of OCPD (which is the tendency to spontaneously, compulsively have the will to organize something). OCD involves rituals (continous hand-washing, checking the door-lock over and over, etc.). Also, the reason OCD patients do such things is because they get the feeling that something horrible will happen if they don't. OCD sufferes may also get unintentional, obtrusive thoughts and images in their heads. Now it's your turn to decide if most or all of these points apply to you. Make sure that you actually did these things BEFORE you suspected having OCD, because, like Inny said, some people trick themselves into thinking that they have symptoms (and start DOING such behaviors AFTER their initial OCD suspicion).
Avatar NillocSkywalker
18 Sep 2013 03:49
In reply to lokiikol
I'm thinkin OCPD. When I read the wikipedia description, it matched me very well. Especially the desire to control ones environment. I always want to know what's going on and how to use it to my advantage.

Thanks, bro
Avatar PORKStheMEATofKINGS
17 Sep 2013 15:38
Having OCD is the new "cool" mental disorder to have. Unless you have been professionally diagnosed with it, don't start spouting it around like it's some sort of accomplishment.

(Btw this isn't directed towards OP, it's towards the entire internet)
Avatar lokiikol
17 Sep 2013 20:31
In reply to PORKStheMEATofKINGS
I hate it. I'm not bragging. It's the other hell.
Avatar inSein
17 Sep 2013 17:47
In reply to PORKStheMEATofKINGS
That is true. I blame Monk.
I'm pretty sure that's why I was displaying some ocd things a few years back, because I thought it was cool and the h word where you trick yourself into thinking you have a problem so much that you actually develope a fake sypmtoms bearing problem too.
Avatar lokiikol
17 Sep 2013 20:32
In reply to inSein
I've had such symptoms for many years now. I'm just too embarrased to tell anyone.
Avatar inSein
17 Sep 2013 03:13
I used to be pretty darned ocd, having to do certain things too, but I am quite sure it was self forced on myself.


I thought this was going to be dumb, but it was quite enjoyable to read. Reminds me of something I saw on imgur a week or two ago.
Avatar Raisons du Coeur
17 Sep 2013 23:35
In reply to inSein
Self forced on myself.
Avatar inSein
17 Sep 2013 23:53
In reply to Raisons du Coeur
Oh right. That was implied with... self.
Avatar Raisons du Coeur
18 Sep 2013 00:08
In reply to inSein
Moo.
Avatar fordcars
17 Sep 2013 02:47
Thanks, you really made my day
Avatar lokiikol
17 Sep 2013 11:20
In reply to fordcars
Was that sarcastic? o.O
Avatar fordcars
17 Sep 2013 23:18
In reply to lokiikol
I knew yo were going to say that! I was like "Do I put an exclamation mark?". It wasn't sarcastic!
Avatar lokiikol
17 Sep 2013 02:21
This should be in Poetry. Eh...I'm too lazy.
Avatar lokiikol
17 Sep 2013 02:25
In reply to lokiikol
Something I should mention: If you're lazy-ish (like me) and you are an avid procrastinator (like me), OCD becomes easier to handle. Why? Well, whenever I get those compulsive thoughts and I'm feeling especially lazy, I'm like: 'Eh, I'm too lazy to get up and check the door lock again,' and I don't. So lazy win!
Avatar lokiikol
17 Sep 2013 02:30
In reply to lokiikol
Another common response: 'The position I am currently in is extremely comfortable. I shall cherish this moment and make it last, so flup you inner voice because I'm too lazy to reach my arm out and adjust that random stack of papers that is in no way relevant to the course of my life and the safety of my family.' I'm off to check the door locks and then sleep.
Avatar LaZerWoLF
17 Sep 2013 01:44
Perfectionism is bad. EVERYTHING MUST BE ORGANIZED OR YOU WOULD RATHER SHOOT YOURSELF. True story. I hate it. Wish I was normal.
Avatar lokiikol
17 Sep 2013 02:17
In reply to LaZerWoLF
Exactly. I have to check my lock 5 times, even if I know it's locked. It's SO annoying. I get this feeling like: EVERYBODY YOU LOVE IS GOING TO DIE IF YOU DON'T ADJUST THIS RANDOM BOOK.
Avatar LaZerWoLF
17 Sep 2013 02:19
In reply to lokiikol
More like: Fancy beats me all the time in blogging because I am overly anal-retentive about centering and organization to care about the real substance of the blog.
Avatar lokiikol
17 Sep 2013 02:21
In reply to LaZerWoLF
That's your problem bro.
Avatar LaZerWoLF
17 Sep 2013 02:25
In reply to lokiikol
Meh. Whatever.
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