Protect yourself.

Wait, so you cheated on me? o-o

I look at the contract and you made a typo; you spelled 'must' wrong so I guess my lawyer did some magic and I kill you with holy water(Mountain Dew).

I have holy water.

If you say you can, or say you cannot, you are right.

My mom is too much woman for you to handle.


I have Yumi's love.

Moo.

I paint it pink with a panda face.

I have Tech's account password.

Moo.

I cut off its paws and strangle you with my bear hands.

I have a brand new pair of bear hands.

Moo.

Who the Hell bumped this thread like the 10th time?

I kick his head far far far far far far far away with much pleasure.

I have a gun again, again.

If you say you can, or say you cannot, you are right.

I fire back with my gun.

I have a gun.

Justice will prevail and all that stuff, right?

I notice that your gun is loaded with blanks. I throw a pillow at you.

I have a hat.

Growing old and dying is what gives meaning and beauty to the fleeting span of a human life.

I set the hat on fire.

I have a pen.

Justice will prevail and all that stuff, right?

I throw a grenade at you. It blows up.

I have a lightning shield from Sonic 3 & Knuckles.

Growing old and dying is what gives meaning and beauty to the fleeting span of a human life.

I come up with a Sonic 3 game theory and the fanbase disappears.

I have a mind prayer.

Justice will prevail and all that stuff, right?

I pray vocally-- thus overruling your mind prayers.

I have a wrapped present box with a Nintendo Switch inside-- there's a tag, but you can't see who it's for.

Growing old and dying is what gives meaning and beauty to the fleeting span of a human life.

I steal the present and look at the tag.
It's for you.

I have nothing.

Justice will prevail and all that stuff, right?

I feel sad that you have nothing and invite you over to come play MK8 on the Switch with me.

I have the blue joy-con.

Growing old and dying is what gives meaning and beauty to the fleeting span of a human life.

I have the red joy-con and 1v1 you 2:59am

I have a chair.

Justice will prevail and all that stuff, right?

I push you off the chair and sit on it instead.

I now have a chair.

Growing old and dying is what gives meaning and beauty to the fleeting span of a human life.

I leave you in the chair because rEsPeCt

I have a bench to sleep on.

Justice will prevail and all that stuff, right?

You still haven't noticed my secret plan to murder you in your sleep. I let you sleep.

I have the dagger from Uncharted 2.

Growing old and dying is what gives meaning and beauty to the fleeting span of a human life.

I use the Red Star from Super Mario Galaxy and fly away.

Justice will prevail and all that stuff, right?

I wonder how you knew you had to run away and take a bi-plane to chase after you.

I have a bi-plane with guns.

Growing old and dying is what gives meaning and beauty to the fleeting span of a human life.

I dodge the shots from the bi-plane.

I have a forcefield.

Justice will prevail and all that stuff, right?